the new rules of gifting
A woman wearing MACHETE Sculpture Studs
It has never been easier to find the right gift. Wish lists live in the notes app, registries update in real time and every retailer publishes a guide. Choosing well is another matter. Here's what the research says, and a few rules we work by.
one. the sentimental one wins
In a 2017 study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, Carnegie Mellon researchers Julian Givi and Jeff Galak asked givers to choose between a sentimental gift, such as a photograph of a shared memory, and one matched to the recipient's known tastes. Givers chose the safe option much more often than recipients wanted. Most of us would rather receive the sentimental one.
The reason was nerves. Givers weren't sure the sentimental gift would land, so they reached for the one they were sure wouldn't miss. If something personal comes to mind, the research suggests it's usually welcome.
L-R: Family Photo Album, Sculpture Studs in Malachite
two. the list isn't a failure of imagination
In a 2011 study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Francesca Gino and Francis Flynn found that recipients appreciated the gifts they'd asked for more than the ones they hadn't, and saw them as more thoughtful. The givers had it the other way around. They assumed the unrequested gift would seem more considered.
So the registry deserves its due. It exists because a family knows what it needs, and buying from it is a courtesy, not a failure of imagination. If there's a list, start there.
L-R: Washable Play Rug, Checkerboard Blanket
three. not sure? send something that gets used up
If you don't know someone well enough to go beyond the list, keep it useful, or keep it to something that gets used up. A candle is an evening. Bath salts are half an hour. A good bar of chocolate is an afternoon. Furtuna's olive oil is meant to be taken by the spoonful, a tablespoon a day. None of it needs a place on a shelf.
L-R: Deep Sleep Bath Salts, Pink Peppercorn Bar, LXR06 Olive Oil, Living Candle
four. one they asked for, one they didn't
When you know them well, pair the two: something from the list, and something they'd never think to ask for. A cookbook for whoever does the cooking. A silk scarf in a color she wouldn't choose for herself. A beautiful brush for a routine she's stopped noticing. The second only works because the first is there.
L-R: Spiced, Neon Tigers Silk Scarf, Everyday Detangling Brush
five. say what it's for
A gift says more when the note names the moment. "For the first night home" says more than "congratulations." If you send an Edit, we write your message out by hand and place it on top.
where we stand
We're a shop, so we have a stake in this, and our view is a simple one. The gifts people remember are the ones that seem to know where they'll end up: on which table, at what hour, in whose hands. That's the idea behind the Edits. Each is composed around a single moment rather than a category, and each is meant to sit alongside the registry, not replace it.
The Edits, all in one place.